How to survive the bridal dance when you hate being in the limelight

First dance

In the course of teaching hundreds of bridal dancing lessons the most common reason for nerves from the bride and groom seems to be the fact that they will be in the limelight for their bridal dance. Coupled with the fact that they don’t know what they are doing when it comes to dancing they find the whole bridal dance subject a double whammy.

Well, dancing lessons will certainly take care of the ‘don’t know what you are doing’ aspect of the nerves, that is of course the whole reason for taking dancing lessons for your wedding. Once you’ve had a couple of lessons and realise that you will be able to pull it off and look half decent or even fabulous for your bridal dance, the issue of nerves can dissipate accordingly, however the ‘limelight’ issue can remain a worry if you allow it and can even stand in the way of enjoying the whole dancing exercise if not faced with reality.

It can be very easy to lose the correct perspective in the middle of all your wedding planning and organising as it it usually one of the most lavish affairs of your life and for most couples it is the first time they have planned and organised such an event. Everything is on offer for your wedding, you spend more money frills and bells and whistles than you ever have before and everything is geared to make your dream wedding day come alive.

But amongst all the glam and bling, it is wise to remember that this day is not a performance, it is not a lavish corporate event to impress clients, it is a day for you as a couple that is being shared with your family and friends.

The bridal dance is not a performance to a critical ‘audience’ who expect to be dazzled and entertained as they would when attending a theatre or concert. The bridal dance is a traditional ritual that is a part of your wedding day celebrations, it’s your first dance ever as husband and wife, it is actually a private moment that is being shared by your family and friends.

They won’t be looking at you dancing with a critical eye, they are sharing the moment with you and in the main will be looking upon you with love and feelings, some will be teary as they watch you looking so beautiful together, some will be remembering their own wedding day with fondness, some will be thinking about their own children’s weddings and some will just be noisy and joyful cheering you on.

If you put the bridal dance in the right perspective it can become less intimidating just for that reason alone.

Remember also, that by the time your bridal dance comes around you will have already been in the limelight all day long, you’ll have publicly confessed your love for each other, made your vows, kissed in front of everyone, posed and smiled and hugged and kissed for hundreds of photographs, you will have been through a whole bundle of emotions all day long. Your bridal dance might even be one of the first moments you have truly alone together (even if just on the empty dance floor) for the whole day

So your concerns over being in the limelight will be greatly reduced after having the whole day getting used to it.

If you are having dancing lessons for your bridal dance then it also flows that it will be one of the most rehearsed moments of your wedding day. You generally just have one rehearsal walking down the isle, you won’t get any rehearsals posing for the photos or cutting the cake, speech rehearsal may or may not happen, but in your dancing lessons you not only learn, but practice the dance over and over. So in reality it is actually one of the most well rehearsed times of the day.

If you are still feeling uncomfortable about dancing in front of everyone then remember to dance only for yourselves, dance as though no-one is watching and put yourself in a frame of mind where you don’t care whether they are watching you or not, just dance for your partner. When you are dancing, block out everyone and everything except your partner and the music. Look at and talk to your partner as you are dancing, laugh together and ignore everything. If you are looking away from your partner don’t look at guests faces, look just slightly above their heads and let their faces blur, it looks like you are looking at them but you are not.

Preparation is the key to success in almost anything and in the case of your bridal dance, it’s practice that is your safety net. The more you practice the smoother and better your dance gets and the better it gets the more confident you get. And the more confident you get, the less nervous you will be about that limelight.

Comments are closed.